That Frustrating Thing Called Doubt
So God is kind of a really cool guy! He knew you before you were even in the womb. He knew you before time existed. And to blow your mind even more... He has known everyone who has ever lived and will ever live since before time existed. EVERYONE! There is not a single person who He does not know. Every detail of them He knows. Oh Lord, you are incredible. Because, if we want to take it one step further, He knows the amount of grass in the ground, He knows the amount of sand on all the beaches, and He knows how many trees are planted on earth, plus every detail of the universe (which is infinite, let me remind you). Has your mind exploded yet? Mine has. How amazing is it that we have a God who knows the whole world down to the very last detail?
God has handpicked me and decided that He wants to be in community with me. And the same is true for you. God has chosen to love and cherish you forever. It can be so easy to forget that, especially when you find yourself in times of doubt. Doubt is formed out of brokenness and sin. It is a natural part of the human life. But the great thing about doubt for Christians is that we can always fall back on Jesus. Even when it feels like we have been forgotten; tossed aside and left on our own, we are never alone. Jesus never forgets about us. I am pretty sure it is impossible for Him to forget about us because He knows everything about us.
When I find myself in times of doubt, I cling to my bible and my books that speak words of truth over me. They are a constant reminder that I am not alone and I have not been tossed aside into the corner. Today, my doubt comes from not being able to know the future. I have desires for what I want my life to look like, but life does not always end up the way we desire it to. That is not to say that our desires are not met, because I believe that they are; God sees us, He knows our wants. I do know that most of the time our desires are not met on our timeline or in the way we thought they would be. God has His own plans. And guess what? They are far better than anything we could imagine! But waiting is hard (really hard!) and it can lead to doubt. For myself, I begin to doubt God's goodness. Which is crazy because I know in my core that HE IS SO GOOD.
If there is anything I have learned through my periods of doubt, it is that I have to press into the truth and not the lies. Learning how to discern what is truth and what are the lies is not easy. I am still learning and I have a feeling I will be learning for the rest of my life. But the ultimate truth is that God is good and His plans for you are great. Write that down and put it in a spot that you will see every day because you need to remember that simple, but often forgotten, truth. There are sure to be seasons of doubt in your life because our God is so complicated and He can be unpredictable. Use those seasons to press into God and experience His love. Use those times to grow as a person. If there was no struggle, there would be no growth. Remember that God is fighting your battles and He is not going to leave you...ever.