I lost out on a big opportunity. Now what?

And COVID strikes again… last week I received an email that informed me I would not be able to intern with a company I have dreamed about working for. Back in January, I applied, interviewed, and was accepted for a communications internship scheduled for the summertime. In March when the world shut down, that internship was tentatively rescheduled to the spring of 2021. While I knew losing the internship was a possibility, I had expectations that it would be able to happen, even if only remotely. I guess I still haven’t fully learned this year to hold things loosely. But last Tuesday I got the confirmation that the internship will not be happening. 

So how do we keep going when we keep getting handed disappointment after disappointment? I am truly not sure at this point. If I am being honest, I feel a little like a punching bag and I’m at a loss for how to keep going. The only thing I can attribute my lack of giving up yet is Jesus. He continues to give me strength to rise each morning and face the day. There is no other conclusion I can come to. 

I was reading through Philippians the other day and was convicted when I came across 3v3 (CSV), “...forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead”. I have a hard time forgetting what is past and find myself focusing on what God hasn’t done yet. This is a hard place to be because it leaves me feeling disappointed with a lot of things. Yet, if I shifted my thinking to “what is God going to do?” I think I will probably have a better attitude about things. I would be waiting expectantly for God to show me His plan, rather than be disappointed by my unmet expectations. 

I am greatly overwhelmed by the lack of plan I have figured out for the next year, both for internship and for a job post-graduation. It is scary for a planner like me to have no plan. I would love to have it all locked in, but that’s not the case. Instead, I am staring graduation in the face unsure about what comes next. But, I am choosing to look at my lack of plan as an opportunity to see how God is going to work in my life. I am choosing to wait expectantly for what the future holds. There is possibility for so many things. It is tough to be so unsure about my future, but I am relying on God to make things clear and show me what He has instore. I am excited to see what’s up ahead. 

The beautiful thing about being in relationship with God is that we do not have to worry. We do and we will because we are human, but we can rest knowing He already has it all figured out. Our futures are securely in His hands. That is not an excuse to sit back on the couch and wait for things to happen. We still need to be working towards our goals and putting the effort in, but at the same time we can surrender it all to God. We can trust that no matter what we do, God’s plan will prevail and He will take care of us.

Psalm 32:8

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you with my eye upon you"